They picked the wrong person

So friends not the first blog post I wanted to do but necessary because I can't keep repeating myself and yet I want to warn people against me being a weirdo for what could be a few days to a few months. It is all unclear. 

Let me be upfront that I am currently dealing with trauma from an incident that happened to me Saturday night after work (8/7/21). I was assaulted and they attempted to mug me.

I'll answer a few common questions first:

No, I am not physically hurt

No I'm not okay, despite me saying I'm okay, really I'm not

Nothing was stolen

Yes I did fight back and save my left over impossible burger from the lunch bag that they thought was my purse.

Ok.....now that those questions are out of the way I'll tell my side.

    After work at Easton I needed gas so I went across the street to the BP. I chose that BP because it had better lighting, more customers and inner pumps that were open. I am very careful of where I choose to get gas because I recognize I am a petite woman typically well dressed that would seem a good target.  I also normally keep brass knuckles on my keys, lock my doors and hold my wallet in my had with my keys to avoid someone stealing my entire car. I also have a night stick under my drivers seat next to my gas tank release button. I am if nothing prepared for this kind of thing. 

    I only had my drivers side door open and I was standing in it checking my phone while the gas was pumping. I had my wallet, car keys and phone in my hand. my back was turned and I saw some kid dive behind in my back into my car and instantly shoved him or some sort of reaction, grabbed the handle of my lunch bag made a guttural yell in his face and continued to play tug o war with my bag while smacking or punch him and he was hitting me back. It went on for almost a minute it felt like so I got a clear look at his face and he was eye level with me so not a tall person at all. He let go of my bag and got in the car and not very quickly him and his buddies drove out. They were slow enough that I thought I had two choices, go run after the car and kick it or try to get a photo.  I tried to take my phone out to get a picture of the car but my credit card and phone dropped to the ground when I was fighting him so I didn't get it in time but I knew the car was a black Toyota Camry 4 door and I committed the symbol to memory.  Then I promptly locked my car completely gathered all my stuff and went inside the gas station, stood in line behind two people and then at my turn asked the manager on duty to call the police and that I needed their camera surveillance footage because I was just assaulted and they tried to rob me. Then as soon as I started to talk to the operator I was a sobbing mess but got out the details "Black suspect looked like a kid with kind of dreaded hair, short, wearing a black shirt and maybe some light colored shorts, no i don't need a medic I'm not hurt just sore"  

    I sat in a chair by the managers office and just cried and texted/called Andy and my brother immediately (for those that don't know my brother is with the Columbus Police Department). I texted my closest friends as I waited for the police.

    Two officers came. Took my account and were surprised with how much detail and information I recalled. Then they went to look at the camera footage and said I was impressive and did a very good job. I remember my yell in his face was not some cry for help or surprise, It was the kind of yell I would do during a Muay Thai fight or class when I am ready to fuck some shit up. After a bit and my brother talked to one of the officers on the phone and I had calmed down some I told them I wanted to move my car and see how I felt about driving. One of them came with me to my car and I got in and started it and just drove it off the pump and to a parking spot and I knew I wouldn't be able to drive home. Andy and Laura came to pick me up. One officer left as there were three more reports of the same kids hitting other people and one officer said he would stay with me till they came. 

The officers told me that they had cased me as soon as I got out of the car. They could see they had been hanging in the parking lot before I got there. While I was on the pump one of them had gotten out of the car and went to my passenger side to scope it out. Then they had gotten back into the car and pulled up and that's when the one kid dove into my car to get what they thought was my purse. Of course to them I looked like an easy rich target, I was dressed up and I drive a decent car with a full face of makeup and my hair was done up. They weren't expecting to get a fight back.

Everything I told them from my side of the story was clearly on camera.

Ending thoughts are:

I saved my leftover impossible burger.

Even though I was extremely cautious from previous experiences when I lived in Chicago it still happened.

Fuckers were lucky I didn't have my brass knuckle or time to reach my night stick. Seeing what my reaction was I would of beat them bloody.

How sad is it that this was teen kids? This behavior has zero future and grim results.

I am a FIGHT not Flight personality, period.

I will never get gas in that part of town again, even if that means I will be late for something.

Please friends this could happen to anyone, it happened to me. Like I said at the beginning I'm not doing so hot. I just wanted to get this out there so if someone asks me I don't need to keep reliving it telling it over and over. I'm giving myself another day before I decided to seek a counselor or not. It's just one day at a time. Currently the thought of driving, and even going near Easton makes me feel sick and tight in the chest. 

I promise next blog post will be on a better happier note, what I really wanted to talk about was turning 40 and my fights and my son turning 6. 

The Dumpster Fire that is 2020 - Asian View

I don't blog very much at all anymore because having a five year old has kept me pretty busy.

Quick life update for those that may not know me well or didn't realize.

I had a business called Yarn it & Haberdashery, it is a yarn store. We sold it in October 2019 to some partners. I have since then been focusing on family, household, and getting back into creating art.  We lost my mother to cancer in November 2018 and my father hasn't been doing so hot either and they live in Las Vegas while I am here in Columbus. 

Now let's talk about being Asian in 2020. 

I've always dealt with a general amount of harmless racism being full Korean with american citizenship and no accent in the Midwest (specifically Columbus, Ohio area). I even got to put my word out there a little bit with a round table discussion on being Asian during Covid-19.

You can find that Columbus Alive Article here: 

Asian Americans contend with increased racism in the time of Corona Virus

It was a hard thing to think about and I am fortunate and grateful that I live where I do and have surrounded myself with like minded and intelligent people so I don't have to constantly defend myself or worry around even physically defending myself the way I heard some friends have had to do in Chicago and New York City.

Back in February I remember hearing about bad flu's going around and I was going to visit my dad for while because he was hospitalized for a series of non-corona related issues and this was also before Corona was public knowledge. I wore a mask through the airport and at the hospital and of course was getting crazy stares but I didn't mind back then and I would just brush it off. I had been trained to do this when I visited Korea many times. I already had fabric face masks from casual to funny animal faces. I use the masks when I clean cat litter and when my asthma is acting up from dust or if I had to go out with a cough from a cold to pick up something. I even use it in long car rides because I get car sick and put a few drops of essential oil on it. Wearing a mask is not irregular for me, it was just a part of regular life culture that I picked up from visiting Korea as part of my culture.

Fast forward to today we have gone through so many transitions over something that should just be basic health but instead because of our broken leadership what should just be common knowledge like washing hands, has become political. It is the most insane thing I think that I have witnessed in my life time. This entire "karen" thing of people shouting their freedoms etc etc. I've never felt especially connected to being an "american" but I've never been so embarrassed to admit where I live before. I've had friends and family around the world call and message me to make sure my family and I are ok because from outside media we just look pathetic. My South Korean friends seem to think of us just as sad a state as North Korea because we seem to be the only country that continues to spike up and down at alarming rates.

Closer to home when everything first blew up I was terrified to go outside. I would try to act normal and run an errand alone and sometimes sit in the car and just cry because of the looks I would get from not only wearing a mask but being asian and wearing a mask. I remember clearly the first time I went to Whole Foods to get some comfort guac (cause food is important to me) hardly anyone was wearing a mask; black, white, hispanic the only consistent people I saw wearing masks were asians. I also noticed there wasn't really any social distancing except when it came to asians wearing masks.  People were still reaching in front of each other to grab produce or squeezing by aisle ways instead of taking turns. But when I would turn down an aisle with my mask whomever saw me in that aisle immediately left. It was so bizarre, I felt both ostracized but also relieved that people were keeping their distance.

I tried very hard to keep a strong face telling myself even though I knew I wasn't sick at least wearing a mask kept people at a distance. The hard thing is they say you can't tell emotions very well because of mask wearing, but honestly in the eyes says everything and there was fear, hate, judgement and concern. That was in the beginning and even if though they might not of been wearing masks they still were with fake polite smiles or trying to keep a blank face. 

Now it's not so bad since it is a statewide mandate for us in Ohio to wear masks in public spaces and all the places I go to enforce it. I still feel the judgement I still don't feel comfortable especially when our president had basically put a target on asians calling it "Kung-Flu" across the media. 

In honesty I have gone through plans to even go to Korea for a month or two to get away from all of this mess. Not just for the threat of Corona but also just for the stress relief to be surrounded by "my people" so I won't feel the burden or anxiety or unfounded guilt from US media. I have seriously debated the annoyance of going through that two week enforced quarantine with my 5 year old son. I think if not for my husband and his work I would of just gone the entire summer and who knows, with distance learning I could of stayed longer.  It's still an escape plan.  I feel almost like I am planning for the zombie outbreak and how to survive. 

I feel that unfortunately because of the way leadership has handled this and stigmatized yet another minority that even when a vaccine is ready and working and this pandemic is under control there will be years upon years of repercussion on asians. It makes me so sad that my son will have to face this as part of his normal as he grows. All I can do is educate and prepare him and instill in him the golden rule, to treat others as he would want to be treated and continue to encourage his empathic personality. I knew he would already be growing up with the struggle of being Half asian and now it's just another thing to add into the mix.

Where was this when I was pregnant and planning? The Glory of online Invitations

Progress is amazing. The world of the interwebs is amazing. Due to me having a 3.5 year old toddler I have had my head in the sand of parenthood and small business like an ostrich.

I recently went to a baby shower and was amazed at how adorable and how easy it was to have everything personally themed.  They are huge Super Mario Bros fans and excepting a little girl. It was all Princess Peach.  Regrettably I didn't take photos like I should have but I overhead the friend who organized it talking to a relative about how easy it was with templates from all the same site. I didn't even realize that people now do Ready to Pop announcements in addition to Baby shower invitations!

I love to do themes and throw parties myself but I feel like we had covered the big milestones already. My only hope is that my little man would love a themed birthday and lucky enough he is ALL about Godzilla, King of Monsters.

I was invited to check out BasicInvite.com and got some amazing free samples.  Before saying yes I checked out their website and found the most adorable template for my friend Ashley.  Their family is into race cars and this seemed so perfect.

One of the things that really caught my eye was that almost all the templates had accompanying thank you cards!  I think that is truly genius because then you can have the thank you cards on hand as you open presents and use a post it not to instantly write down what they received and from whom, then a few days later sit down with the stack and get it done all at once.

Along with the idea of already having the thank you cards they also offer "Address Capturing Service" - Basic Invite offers an address capturing service that allows customers to simply share a link on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other form of social media to request their friends and family’s addresses which will be stored in the customer’s account and can then be selected during the design process. Basic Invite offers recipient address printing at no cost on all Christmas card orders. That is definitely something I will be using in the future and OH GOD how much time could of been saved if this had been around when I planning my wedding, baby shower, 100 days, first birthday, etc etc.

After scoping it out I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of their products and how efficient and quick it was to process. I not only did a sample for Colin's birthday months away but also some things for business.  I went a little rogue and used the wedding invitations options to get some logo printed stickers for the shop and also tried out their clear plastic cards for my own consultant/artist business.

I was also in love with the idea that they do custom samples. Basic Invite is one of the few websites that allows customers the ability to order a printed sample of their actual invitation so they can see exactly how it will print as well as the paper quality before they ever have to place their final order.

Once again the templates that were available and that I ended up choosing were super easy to customize. It can be a little overwhelming since they have almost unlimited colors. Basic Invite is one of the few websites that allows customers almost unlimited color options with instant previews online. Once you select a design you can change the color of each element on the card to over 180 different color options so you can make sure the card is exactly how you want it down to the littlest detail. This is something that sets them apart from almost any other online stationery company and is the biggest draw.

There is also an option for 40 different colors of envelopes to choose from. So if you make major color changes in your template you make sure you have just the right envelope to match to make it a complete package and this is for ALL products not just wedding invites. I also like that they envelopes are all peel and stick so that is one less hassle in the entire process.

Here is the big reveal!  My order came and I was super happy with the results and the care of the packaging. It is great that they also offer a code to use on your order if you are satisfied with your samples which makes it even more appealing to use Basic Invite.

I ended up going with the Dragon and didn't change any of the colors because I loved the template just the way it was.

I did customize my back to make it a little more personal with a note and photo of Colin in his favorite dragon costume. Since the part is quite a few months from now and we do not know the current showtimes for the new Godzilla movie I left a little blank spot that I can fill in later if I decided to order them now.

It was so easy to add the photo and it connected to a variety of different photo programs that were also helpful.

I also ordered the accompanying thank you card because let's be honest, If I don't have the cards already I might never actually write them and then I would feel like a jerk.

Right now Basic Invite is offering 15% off with coupon code: 15FF51 
and there are having specials with ladybug baby shower invitations and baby shower invitations for boys. 

I will say that being able to check out these samples and explore this company has been a treat and I look forward to how else I can use them in the coming years as I have more parties and perhaps more family to plan for (it's not all about me and don't jump to any conclusions).

When did my craft get political?

Talk about taking the joy out of something........ I was sitting here in my yarn store eating my rice and homemade szechuan fried green beans and pork that my extremely not asian husband made for me and just started to laugh.

Over the last week I suppose there has been this huge influx of political/racial justification posts throwing out acronyms that I've been exhausted filtering and looking up what they stand for.

So I'm told it all starts with this blog post from the woman who owns Fringe Supply Company (I'm not going to link it because I believe if you are reading this you are smart enough to find it yourself and I'm not here to perpetuate). A friend posted it in our chat group and I started to read it but it was very long and I have very little time for these things having to run my own business, house and toddler amidst finding the little precious times for joy in my life. So of course I don't spend a lot of time reading something that I know stirred the pot. Call me ignorant or whatever but I just didn't finish that article. But from that post came a combatant post from a designer I once admired and now have lost their sparkle in my eye.

The short of it was that a midwestern well off white woman who is very self aware wrote a bit of a personal and open note about her own ignorance and how she was making an effort to travel the world and change her perceptions. I think the only wrong she might of had was openly discussing her ignorance and past prejudices, (yes I have at this point read said article).  Anyways she was completely jumped on top of and now it has spurred this entire big movement in the fiber community to be more aware and inclusive and silly things are happening and I just can't even deal with the social media burst of it all.

I got an email at the store from what she referred to herself as a "blind white woman" and used POC in the context and I was flabbergasted that she wanted me to make some sort of social media stance on this whole matter and if I would make a list for her of POC (which at the time I didn't know what it meant and when I found out I was kind of appalled) of makers, designers, owned companies etc so she can do her part to support them.  In a nutshell I politely told her it is easy to do the research on her own, I was not current with what this whole movement is and it does not affect with whom we do business with because we believe in good products and good designs.  I also pointed out because I personally know several people that keep their personal totally hidden so that they can make a living judged only on the merit of their work.

Craziness right?! It's just yarn, knitting and I am not going to go out of my way to make a list for someone else because if they really care they would do the work themselves. Yes I found it slightly offensive that she would reach out to me knowing I am asian that I would just automatically be the go to make her amends. My friend Toni said it best in her live feed when she said "not knowing what you are apologizing for isn't a real apology".  I personally find reverse racism more insulting because that is someone educated enough to know what is wrong and over compensating for their own peace of mind and validation. 

Another friend in the industry who just happens to be white has had harassing messages asking for her opinion and to make it public and even went so far as to call her deaf to what is going on around.  A total no-win for her and I was just so angry for her because like that email it felt like they were trying to guilt or bully us into speaking an opinion about it. It's one thing to just ask off to the side privately "hey what do you think?" but to call us out as businesses to take a stand seems entirely inappropriate.

I feel bad for companies that getting the ripple effect reach back of people going back to accuse them of not being inclusive or sensitive with their content, titles or inclusion. I'm sorry but if a magazine is from the UK specifically catering to Nordic inspirations and Nordic traditions in a region that their indigenous people are fair skinned how is that wrong? I mean it was our choice to support and import. Just like it is each individuals choice to join or not join this conversation like ANY conversation. Just be polite, mind your manners and if you need to feel better about yourself and validation there might be something more deep set wrong going on. Also why isn't anyone attacking the popular Japanese magazine for only using asian models? I mean might as well be fair right?!

Anyways back to the point this whole thing has just become so overblown and ridiculous and in the end I'm just like hey guys, let's just knit. Let's just appreciate that we have the means and are comfortable in our lives to afford this past time. It's considered a gentle art, why make it war?  Also part of a charm of knitting is being able to enjoy something alone and as comfort. I know quite a few designers that a proud that no one can recognize them when they are out at shows or conventions and have even opened my store early for one because they want the merit of their work to speak for them not what they look like. Those people are my real heros.

That is my 2-cents on this whole thing.

Fleas & Things on the street market shopping!

This was another wayward post. Several years ago started but the bones of it still hold truth when you are going to a flea and doing street market shopping in any country.

A while ago I went to the Short North Reduction Sale. It was packed!  Never had I gone to a reduction sale where there were so many people before.  I usually go later and get some good pickings but this year I wanted to be early to make sure I had first dibs.  Oh, so not the case this year.  It was heavily advertised in ways that it wasn't in the past and I felt the space was much smaller.

After going through that and then to my Friends Flea Swap at the Gangway it got me thinking about some not so common sense tips when going to these sorts of events.
1. Do not expect there to be a dressing room
2. Don't bring a super bulky bag (if you even bring a full purse at all)
3. Be prepared to be elbowed and disregard this as rudeness (it is a battlefield of discounts essentially)
4. Bring lot's of Cash most vendors even though they have credit card machines in their stores they rarely bring them out to these events or the wifi will be spotty.
5. Be prepared to wait in a line
6. Come early at least an hour before the actual opening if you want the best picks.
7. Dress Prepared!

This last part is what I want to cover mostly.  When I say dress prepared I mean dress as if you need to try things on and won't have a fitting room available because most likely you won't.

 My staples for dressing for a flea or sale like this are

1. Leggings, bike shorts or boy shorts
2. Tank top (or sports bra)
3. Baggy sweatshirt to go over (can also be used to put on the ground if you don't want your feet on the direct floor)
4. Skirt (if I feel I need to have something besides the leggings/tights)
5. Flats to wear but heels in the purse (to try on things for height).

 Another trick to use if there isn't a fitting room and you don't want to try something on there at least for pants and skirts is the neck trick.  The neck trick is where you take the garment and wrap the waist band around your neck.  If the two side seams don't touch them it is too small or if it goes way past each other when they meet then it will be too big.  You do not want to make it choking tight or else you are just cheating yourself.  Keep it as loose around your neck as you would like to be on your real waist.  I know that seems like witch craft but it is a tried and true method. Just remember this is to match your waist so of course if they are high rise or vice versa and hip hugger pants think about that accordingly.

When I go to the street markets in Korea often times there are never dressing rooms and they would hand you a big elasticized skirt that you could either put on top and hang on your neck or just over my waist to try clothes on with out being indecent. Sometimes they would let you behind their booth to change but most times they would take you just to the end of the aisle with the "to-go" dressing room. It's not for everyone but for some people the discomfort is worth the discounts or they just like a little adventure and non-uniformity.

Best of luck to you if you take the dive to hit up a flea or street market and remember it's not personal if you get shoved a little (especially in Korea from older women, that's pretty normal).

2019 Updates on Life - it's just words

I had been away from my blog for a long time. There was a point where as much as I loved this and writing I had gotten too busy taking care of my little Colin, training, being a wife and small business owner.

My mother passed away just days before Thanksgiving due to pancreatic cancer. It was terrible she was diagnosed only three months prior. I was the one who took her to the ER where they began testing and found the tumor. It was my first time going out to visit my brother in Las Vegas and seeing my parents after they had moved out there. I had Colin with me. We enjoyed most of the time there then Sunday after my brother Birthday Brunch mom told me she was in pain and wanted to go to the ER. I knew she was in pain the whole weekend, but no one else noticed and I kept an eye on her. I took her temperature and she had a fever over 100, I made a quick call to my friend's mom who is a nurse and she confirmed I should take her to ER. That was the day before I was supposed to leave. It was heartbreaking to leave her then knowing she would be in the hospital for days doing testing. From there it was fast and progressively worse and I am thankful we got her into Hospice for her last days to be comfortable. It's obviously still a fresh wound which is why I am coming back to writing/blogging.

As a friend told me I am a private person, yet not at all. I just don't like to talk about feelings much, I don't like to be exposed but I do like people to know there are things going on. I use social media a lot as a quick way to update friends abroad or that I don't get to see very often so they know I am living life and doing ok. Some days are better than others but I'm still here.

I think another thing that spurred my want to write again is going through this aftermath of death and how there are so many things I had to figure out for my father and myself with how to deal with death, not emotionally but fiscally and what a death means in terms of a process not a person. Unless you have been through it is not an easy thing to grasp while you are mourning and no one prepares for this because it is a dark thing that leads to dark thoughts. So I wanted to write the process in a practical guide and maybe it will be published maybe not but at least it will be out in the world in some form or another and maybe when it's my time my son will find it and get some comfort in his mom's overly practical mind.

I was also approached by someone I didn't know very well at my gym and was touched. It was my first time working with this person and after class was over he said to me that he found one of my blog posts about testing and it inspired him to come to my gym (Short North Muay Thai). I didn't know my blog, my posts had an impact and were still circulating.  He's been at the gym over a year now and I'm happy to say that he is now on his own path and will be testing in March.

It's a funny thing how something so abstract as the internet has now connected so many people for the good or bad it is a big influence on our lives. I am just one person, small insignificant but I see I have made an impression in the world no matter how small and that is a comfort. It maybe just a little but it isn't nothing and that is a victory to put something positive and helpful out there.

This is a new beginning for this blog so Cheers! let's be logical, depressed, helpful, cheering and celebrating all together because those are all parts of life.

This is Me, or how I perceived myself in 2018

This is yet another old post that I thought I needed to clean up, finish up and put out there as part of my 2019 de-clutter. I started this sometime in 2018, I don't remember when but it was before I decided to take part in fights.

 I'm a proud small business owner of a specialty Yarn Store and Knitter extraordinaire! 

 Someone who loves to dress up as a bad-ass with a love for cheesy Kungfu

 I also like to dress up and play at being a model for friends

 I'm an avid Muay Thai fan (Top is Lerdsila at the Ronin 2018 Seminar and bottom is Saenchai from 2017)

 I like to leap up and take chances at being a badass in the most humbling environment surrounded by supportive friends in a muay thai gym unlike any other. (Short North Muay Thai)

I even went so far in 2018 to check off another bucket list item and went to my first fight! I had two fights, first a win and then a lose by decision (it was really close I think I was nicked points due to headgear is what I overheard) but they were good and amazing and I'll talk about that more in another post.

 I'm the mother to an adorable mixed child, Colin Eldon Hall and am prepared to stand up for him and with him when it comes time to talk about his multi-facted ethnic culture.

 I have been and will return to being an independent Fashion Designer

 I am a positive force with colorful hair no matter what other people may think. Both traditional and radical but always respectful and full of empathy.

 I'm a wife and partner to someone who likes to smile and laugh with me.

 Had the pleasure of being on national TV with one of my best friends aiming high for a dream that has not come true.

Being almost famous by association (that is a young Daniel Henney and I was his dresser for my school fashion show at The School of the Art Institute of Chicago)

We still have three cats that are complete idiots that love us unconditionally and they just add to the disaster that Andy and I try to call our home.  It's hard with an anxiety ridden orange girl, broken trash cat who thinks every meal is his last then pukes and a high strung princess cat that thinks she is the center of everyone's world. But we love them.

I still try to make time for video games and I'll never stop my love of plushies or Final Fantasy.