In all Honesty

I've been depressed.

To try and combat this I have been extremely busy running errands applying to contests and gearing up for Teaching and finding a job. I did in fact find a job..... Part time at an Express. I know it's not really me but basics are always good there and I can't complain about the discount. It is only part time so it's not like I am selling my soul to the retail industry. It does put a huge kink in my project that I have been wanting to launch so I might have to hold off another year or so. We shall see how I can wriggle my opinionated clothing options into their guidelines.

As for contests I submitted this week for the "Aspiring Designer Contest" at Substance. Substance is this cute store with a large space in the Short North that is eco-conscious. They have high quality cottons and basics which in store they alter with embellishments to match whatever you desire. The have samples up so you can see the endless possibilities and a wide selection of trims and notions to play with or to give their in-staff seamstress to make. It is an extremely unique Idea and I hope them all the best.

I've also been slowing still working on my 100 C's project on my knitting machine for the OAL. And the Tiny Canary Craft Application is now up!

Also I made a bunch of new Cat's Bane yarn guards and 4 new shirts to put out this weekend at Undone for Gallery Hop. I'm hoping at the craft fairs my Cat's bane will do well otherwise it's all bubble scarves and fingerless gloves and arm-warmers again........ I think I might borrow my brother's credit card Machine to use as well. I for sure don't have the funds to invest in getting my own.

I'm all stewing up my designs for the Halloween Highball. I have my theme and inspirations it's just me getting to work on them now.

None of that

Sorry today is an extremely boring unfulfilled post but I feel I must make one regardless.

I am prepping for my Lingerie Trunk Show at Undone which I am also going to be showing/selling some pieces that aren't lingerie but I feel more lounge worthy. Such as the above pants. They are simple knit pants that are german military inspired. I went through my current stock and the fabrics I have and I am in good shape. No need to buy any new fabric, I just need to get it together and make the new pieces. I've also nailed down one model for a look book photo shoot for the trunk show and will shoot again with Adam Leigh-Manuell. Now I need one more model and stylist. I might leave those up to Adam but we need to discuss this all a little more and I need to get a positive YES from the current model as well as contact information. I feel doing all communication through Model Mayhem is not very professional

seeing how so many of them have failed. My biggest project for this Lingerie trunk show is to produce some a new bralet top. I think I am going to be playful also because I found all this leftover gold, black and Turquoise Lame.

There was another photo shoot that was completed with Michelle Washington a Stylist and Stephanie Matthews was the Photographer and Riquina J. I'm eagerly awaiting the photos. Unfortunately I don't think I will be able to actually post them for awhile. I am learning all sorts of new stuff about the fashion world and fashion photography that I never would of thought important. Such as keeping photos that are being submitted for publication confident until after acceptance/rejection of the photo set. Like even if only one of the photos is being submitted none of them from that set should still be posted anywhere publicly. It's really a strange world that I am trying very hard not to step on anyone's toes.

Fashion photography is unlike any other art form in my opinion. First of all there are so many people involved. On this particular turn it was a Photographer, make up artist, wardrobe stylist, and model. You could add me in as the clothing designer but that all depends on the viewpoint. It's like a group project no matter who is responsible for what and since they are all artists it's like walking on eggshells because you don't want to offend anyone. Everyone has their own take an viewpoint and direction. You just hope everyone is on that same direction. It is also more a form of advertisement to get more jobs then it is art. Only the few lucky ones can do this as purely an "art" form and be able to make it their entire living. Not that people don't live off of it but there aren't many people that can make a living off of just Fashion photography shoots. Most make up artists also work a counter, weddings, touch ups for TV or commercial makeup to supplement with Fashion. Photographers same thing they have weddings, portraits, and other none fashion related work. They are lucky because I think they have a little more leeway for art because they can do nudes, or just artistic photos that aren't directly fashion related but still art related. If that makes sense. Stylists are pretty much all around stylists, they look for the clothes, concepts, trends and they clothe people whether it be for fashion or not. They make people look good and put together in general. I just make clothes both avant garde and commercial. Sometimes I get the opportunity to be my own stylist for shoots and every once in a while I do makeup as well. I am at a lose with hair and photography though.

I think I should just keep my mouth/fingers shut all the time. I feel like I am always offending people lately when I don't mean to be. It all just makes me so nervous. I apparently made a comment that I didn't think was bad in anyway but I felt like it was taken the wrong way. I really don't want to come off as some critic or anything. I'm really open to everything. I'm just happy to get good photos of my clothes and I feel everyone has their own take on the same pieces and it's just so much fun to see what different people do. I hope I apologized enough to get that across. I just don't know what more I can do lately. Not just with the photo shoot but all around in life right now I feel kind of helpless and like I am apologizing everywhere to everyone. It makes me want to be less and less social and just hide in my basement and sew till someone calls on me. A friend sent me photos of her work and I haven't even responded yet for fear of sounding critical.......... She does amazing work.

I think maybe because of all the classes lately since I have to critique the student work constantly I don't think I am doing anything wrong. I just have to constantly instill in them what makes good aesthetic designs and their level of work is far from professional. I'm not a perfectionist by far but I know what I like and don't like and what comes out appealing. I haven't seen anything from the outside that I outright do not like, I just don't know...... I am going to keep my mouth shut.

Day One!

Off to a little bit of a rocky start as I am still trying to figure out the best way to take my photos. I think I have found just the place using a tripod in this empty corner. This was taken with the help of a mirror in the kitchen that is actually too tall for me.

Today I was only wearing jewelry that I had made and stretch jeans that I altered.


I am wearing Michael Kors Gold tone wooden platform slides from Filene's basement over 6 years ago.
- Cheap Monday high waisted stretch jeans bought at Urban Outfitters for $5 and altered in the waist by 4"
- Black Cami from Guess outlet
- Grey open mesh sweater with tab sleeves from H&M in Santa Monica
- Je táime enamel plate necklace made by me
- Adina small diamond square necklace from my boyfriend on valentines day 2 years ago.
- Toki Doki "


Things I am currently working on is my dress to wear to my 10 year high school reunion this friday. I have nearly finished my purse to take also. I will probably get that done tomorrow and maybe the dress.

I am meeting on Monday with the owner of this one boutique that I am in LOVE with called Collier West. They are mostly home goods but every time I walk into there I feel at home because it is exactly how I would want to decorate the house if I had boundless amounts of money. But I finally got the guts to go over and ask if they were interested in seeing my jewelry.

Before I went there today since they had a "back in five" sign I stopped into Substance. Very cute store that I also like their clothes but find it almost too plain and simple for me. They always have shoes that I am keen on and big leather purses. Today they had a lot of things that I liked but with this "Clothes Diet" as I refer it to other people I couldn't buy a thing. Except for these super comfy and cute navy ballerina slippers that she had been trying to sell because they don't fit anyone. It says size 6 but actually it was a size 5 PERFECT for me! And since Shoes are something I can't make it's ok! Anyways we got to talking and she sounded interested in buying so I just need to get my self together once again to present and work on my pricing. I think I will only present a couple things to start. I'm not entirely sure if that is the spot for me plus they might refuse my price point.

Also on my list of places to visit I stopped by Undone to discuss the Trunk Show in August a little more and was informed that there is a sidewalk sale that they invited me to be a part of. Wonderful! Today was a great day lot's of connections and possible opportunities.

Its all starting up again

Another long overdue post.

Several things going on in my world right now.
I just sold a piece at the OAL (Ohio Art League) Event One night in a Hundred. It was a great event. I wish there were more people who had come to support us but I think they ended up doing pretty well. I connected with several people there such as the Collier West owners and my Golf Buddy John from the CCAD Golf Outing I did.

Speaking of which that was a good time and another good connection. My Scramble team WON the CCAD Golf outing and I am forever immortalized on a Plaque in Canzani. Having been the ONLY actual representative of CCAD on that team I am also ingrained in the memory of the president of the School ~points~. Also my cart buddy was once a well established woman's accessories designer who sold to Saks, Henri Bendel, and many other high end stores. Also happened to be alumni of the same High School that I am from but many many years earlier.

Along with CCAD news I just finished my first workshop with the High School students and it went perfectly. They all loved it, had a great time and had a lot of things to take home to show their parents. A lot of parents also spoke to me and thanked me for such a great program. Those kids were amazing. They Accomplished more then I ever thought they would. I can't wait for the College Preview to Start.

I have a trunk show coming up at Undone on July 25th. I am trying to get a lot of pieces done that can be worn and interperted with the lingerie. Good thing I have my two interns starting next week to help me get this going.

Yep that's right I have interns this summer. How crazy is that? I hope this will really help me to focus and jump start on advertising myself and getting into some boutiques outside of Columbus.

Other interesting news that has nothing to do with me is that two of my former college classmates have made themselves pretty famous. First is Ra'mon Lawrence-Coleman who is going to be on the new Project Runway coming up on Lifetime. Second Matt Ames was just in an article in W as a rising fashion designer to look out for. Congrats guys seriously! I will be there someday. I'm severely contemplating that I need to do the Project Runway route before I get too engrossed but I hope that I do well enough on my own to perhaps not need that.

Only time will tell.
In the meantime I am going to try several different formats and things with this Blog. I am also going to be moving all my www.torn012.net content to my www.tornangel.com site. As well as making updates with the help of my trusty Andy!

In the Works

I know I don't update as much as I should.  unfortunately my life only seems to be exciting once a month?

I do have some very promising things going on.  I am making lingerie for a Local Lingerie and Shoe Boutique called "Undone".  It is super exciting for me because they will be the second person that has ever whole sale bought from me and the First who has whole sale bought from me that is actually clothing!   I am also going to do a trunks how there once I get more of my stuff together and organized.

I am also meeting with a potential connection to have my clothes in a commercial Photo shoot for some new shoe company and to possibly provide the clothes for their runway show in November.  There is the possibility of me being a Part of the next Agora which is very exciting to me.  

I am still searching for a Male Fit model that I can use that is dependable.  I really want to start to get into menswear again.  I think I may just have to give up and use the male mannequin body that I have.  

Also in CCAD news this summer will be QUITE busy for me!  I am also very excited to be teaching so much.  I will be doing two summer workshops and I think I am going to make it almost all challenge projects like "Project Runway" or just stuff I remember doing in College that made an impact on how I design and look at Fabrics.  In addition to the Work shops for high school students I will be doing the Advanced Pattern Drafting and Construction class for Continuing Education and College Preview for the High School students.   I will be so busy this summer and it will be AMAZING!!!

I just love to create, teach and collaborate!

Speaking of Collaborate I did a custom order on Etsy a while ago and the Artist always said he would name the ring after me if he kept making and selling them.  I thought he was just being polite and yanking my chain a little but he actually did!  The Esther Ring!