Quick life update for those that may not know me well or didn't realize.
I had a business called Yarn it & Haberdashery, it is a yarn store. We sold it in October 2019 to some partners. I have since then been focusing on family, household, and getting back into creating art. We lost my mother to cancer in November 2018 and my father hasn't been doing so hot either and they live in Las Vegas while I am here in Columbus.
Now let's talk about being Asian in 2020.
I've always dealt with a general amount of harmless racism being full Korean with american citizenship and no accent in the Midwest (specifically Columbus, Ohio area). I even got to put my word out there a little bit with a round table discussion on being Asian during Covid-19.
You can find that Columbus Alive Article here:
It was a hard thing to think about and I am fortunate and grateful that I live where I do and have surrounded myself with like minded and intelligent people so I don't have to constantly defend myself or worry around even physically defending myself the way I heard some friends have had to do in Chicago and New York City.
Back in February I remember hearing about bad flu's going around and I was going to visit my dad for while because he was hospitalized for a series of non-corona related issues and this was also before Corona was public knowledge. I wore a mask through the airport and at the hospital and of course was getting crazy stares but I didn't mind back then and I would just brush it off. I had been trained to do this when I visited Korea many times. I already had fabric face masks from casual to funny animal faces. I use the masks when I clean cat litter and when my asthma is acting up from dust or if I had to go out with a cough from a cold to pick up something. I even use it in long car rides because I get car sick and put a few drops of essential oil on it. Wearing a mask is not irregular for me, it was just a part of regular life culture that I picked up from visiting Korea as part of my culture.
Fast forward to today we have gone through so many transitions over something that should just be basic health but instead because of our broken leadership what should just be common knowledge like washing hands, has become political. It is the most insane thing I think that I have witnessed in my life time. This entire "karen" thing of people shouting their freedoms etc etc. I've never felt especially connected to being an "american" but I've never been so embarrassed to admit where I live before. I've had friends and family around the world call and message me to make sure my family and I are ok because from outside media we just look pathetic. My South Korean friends seem to think of us just as sad a state as North Korea because we seem to be the only country that continues to spike up and down at alarming rates.
Closer to home when everything first blew up I was terrified to go outside. I would try to act normal and run an errand alone and sometimes sit in the car and just cry because of the looks I would get from not only wearing a mask but being asian and wearing a mask. I remember clearly the first time I went to Whole Foods to get some comfort guac (cause food is important to me) hardly anyone was wearing a mask; black, white, hispanic the only consistent people I saw wearing masks were asians. I also noticed there wasn't really any social distancing except when it came to asians wearing masks. People were still reaching in front of each other to grab produce or squeezing by aisle ways instead of taking turns. But when I would turn down an aisle with my mask whomever saw me in that aisle immediately left. It was so bizarre, I felt both ostracized but also relieved that people were keeping their distance.
I tried very hard to keep a strong face telling myself even though I knew I wasn't sick at least wearing a mask kept people at a distance. The hard thing is they say you can't tell emotions very well because of mask wearing, but honestly in the eyes says everything and there was fear, hate, judgement and concern. That was in the beginning and even if though they might not of been wearing masks they still were with fake polite smiles or trying to keep a blank face.
Now it's not so bad since it is a statewide mandate for us in Ohio to wear masks in public spaces and all the places I go to enforce it. I still feel the judgement I still don't feel comfortable especially when our president had basically put a target on asians calling it "Kung-Flu" across the media.
In honesty I have gone through plans to even go to Korea for a month or two to get away from all of this mess. Not just for the threat of Corona but also just for the stress relief to be surrounded by "my people" so I won't feel the burden or anxiety or unfounded guilt from US media. I have seriously debated the annoyance of going through that two week enforced quarantine with my 5 year old son. I think if not for my husband and his work I would of just gone the entire summer and who knows, with distance learning I could of stayed longer. It's still an escape plan. I feel almost like I am planning for the zombie outbreak and how to survive.
I feel that unfortunately because of the way leadership has handled this and stigmatized yet another minority that even when a vaccine is ready and working and this pandemic is under control there will be years upon years of repercussion on asians. It makes me so sad that my son will have to face this as part of his normal as he grows. All I can do is educate and prepare him and instill in him the golden rule, to treat others as he would want to be treated and continue to encourage his empathic personality. I knew he would already be growing up with the struggle of being Half asian and now it's just another thing to add into the mix.
